Robert and Alia's Story

Most people don’t believe 34-year-old Robert when he tells them he is a grandfather. His daughter Alia was born when he was 17. Robert didn’t live with his daughter as she grew up, so being involved in her daily life was a challenge.

“It’s really hard being a parent, especially if you don’t live with your child. I couldn’t see my child a lot because her mother and I weren’t getting along. If I could do it over again, I would play a more active role in her life even though her mother and I didn’t see eye to eye. For parents in that situation, I would tell them to be more concerned about the relationship with your child than what’s going on between you and the mother or the father. I would say the most important thing is to try to be there for your child. One thing I realize now is that it didn’t always have to be a big thing, like going to the amusement park. We probably would have spent more time together if I didn’t always feel like, ‘Wow, I've gotta do something special.’ Alia remembers the little things—like helping me wash the car. I mean, she counts that as one of her favorite memories.”

Being Involved Helps You To Become Aware
When Your Child Is Under Stress

Being young doesn’t necessarily mean you are never unhappy or anxious. Young people often cite stress as a reason they use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Let’s face it; young people today have to deal with issues such as:

• Changing family structures.
• Easy access to alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs.
• Lack of adult supervision.
• Lack of safe places to learn, play, and socialize.
• Lack of good role models.
• Peer pressure.
• Pressure to be sexually active.
• Violence and gangs.

Some young people think that alcohol or illegal drugs will cheer them up, make them forget about problems they have, or make them feel part of the group.

Adults and children sometimes develop unhealthy ways of dealing with stress. How many times have we heard people say, “Boy, I could use a drink,” as an antidote to stress? How many of us smoke tobacco to reduce stress? How many of us truly know how to deal with stress in healthy ways? Just like some adults, children need to learn how to deal with stress, how to make healthy decisions, and how to relax.

Children also need someone to help them through difficult times—someone to whom they can express their concerns and apprehensions without fear of rejection or recrimination. One of the most important things that can help children choose not to use alcohol and drugs is the love and support of at least one caring adult who helps guide them through the many phases of childhood.

Signs of Stress Among Young People

Are You Under Stress?