Get Involved in Your Child's Life

Young people are much less likely to use drugs when they have positive activities to do and when caring adults are involved in their lives. Get involved in your child’s life by participating in his activities (e.g., bring a snack for the soccer team, volunteer in your child’s classroom, attend his recital or play, help with his science project) and praising his accomplishments. Your participation and encouragement tell your child that these activities are worthwhile and may help him identify and pursue other positive activities as he gets older.

Action Steps To Get Involved

1. Spend at least 15 minutes a day in a “child-directed” activity (doing something your child wants to do). Experts say that doing something with your child for at least 15 minutes a day is essential to building a strong parent-child relationship. Examples of child-directed activities include:

• Reading a book your child chooses.
• Letting your child choose the menu and then cooking a meal together.
• Playing a game of your child’s choice (she can even make up her own rules!).
• Working on a craft project your child chooses.

It also may be as simple as talking with your child about a topic in which she is interested. Remember, 15 minutes is a suggested minimum. The more time you are able to devote to your child doing these kinds of activities, the better. (For more information, log on to www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/cmhs/ and search for the 15+ Make Time To Listen—Take Time To Talk Initiative.)

2. Identify at least one opportunity each week for you and your child to do something special together. Some possibilities include:

• Visiting the library.
• Going for a walk.
• Playing cards, board games, or video games.
• Searching on the Internet to learn about each other’s interests.
• Going on a special outing, such as the park, playground, or ice cream stand.

The important thing is that you spend time together and interact (just watching a TV show and not discussing the program doesn’t count!). You may be surprised at how much these special activities can mean to your child.

3. Support your child’s activities. For example, if your child plays sports, plan to attend as many practices and games as you can and model appropriate participant behavior! Praise your child’s physical efforts and dedication to the sport.

4. Recognize good behavior consistently and immediately. Make the extra effort to “catch” your child “being good”; for example, doing the dishes or cleaning her room without being asked. Praise her for things you might ordinarily take for granted, such as getting up on time, helping to set the table, or finishing her homework without being asked. No one is ever too old to hear encouraging words or to get a hug or a “high five” for a job well done. Keep in mind, though, that children usually know when their effort has been less than their best. Choose words that are authentic:

5. Use meal times as opportunities to share news of the day or to discuss current affairs. In today’s fast-paced world, many families find it difficult to come together at meal times. However, if family meals can be arranged, it is a great opportunity for interaction. Be aware, however, that this should be a time for positive discussion. It probably is not appropriate to discuss upsetting issues such as failing grades, bad news in the newspaper, or other upsetting topics. It is definitely not the time to fight with each other. Meal-time discussions can help your child value expression by encouraging passionate, but polite, exchanges. If it is difficult for your family to eat meals together, be creative in finding other times to have conversations with your child, such as during car rides.

Robert and Alia's Story