Monitor Your Child's Activities

Monitoring your child's activities is an important deterrent to alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. One study found that latchkey youth who were home alone 2 or more days per week were four times more likely to have gotten drunk in the past month than those youth who had parental supervision five or more times a week.⁵ Another study found that children who had the least monitoring initiated drug use at earlier ages. And the earlier a child starts using drugs, the greater the likelihood that a serious problem will develop as a result.

Action Steps To Monitor Your Child's Activities

1. Establish relationships with your child's friends. Children are more likely to experiment with drugs if their friends do and if they spend a lot of unsupervised time together. Knowing your child's friends can put you in closer touch with your child's daily life. You'll be better able to recognize trouble spots and guide your child away from risky situations, dangerous behaviors, and negative peer influences. Also, when parental monitoring is high, adolescents are much less likely to choose friends who use drugs. Thus, parents have a powerful influence on their adolescents by their influence on their choice of friends and their monitoring of the peer selection process. Youth are less likely to use drugs if they think their parents and friends disapprove of drug use and if their friends do not use drugs themselves.

2. Get to know other parents. Arrange to attend school events or other gatherings with parents. As parents, you can reinforce each other's efforts and provide a valuable support network for both you and your children.

3. When your child goes out, make sure you know where he's going, who he'll be with, and what he'll be doing. Ask for phone numbers and addresses of friends' houses and other places your child likes to go. Let him know you may call or drop by to check up on him, and don't be afraid to do just that. Start this practice early, when the child first starts to visit friends at 8 or 9 years old. Then it will be habit rather than hassle when he is 14.

4. Have your child check in at regular times and make it easy for her to contact you. Give her a phone card, change, or even a pager, with clear rules for using them. Make sure she has your cell phone number and knows where you are going to be and how you can be reached.

5. Make sure your child has access to enjoyable, drug-free, structured activities. Youth who are involved in constructive, supervised activities during after-school hours and on weekends are less likely to use drugs. Encouraging your child's involvement in these activities and participating when you can (e.g., going to a soccer game, painting props for a play) are powerful ways to prevent drug use.

Coranne, Jason, and Nicole's Story

Coranne's daughter Nicole is in seventh grade. Nicole's older brother Jason, a firefighter, is married and has a son of his own. Although he doesn't have to "check in" with mom anymore, Coranne says old habits die hard.

"Jason calls me almost every day. Sometimes it's just to say a quick hello; other times he needs some advice. I think it just became a routine for him that continued on into adulthood. It's the same with Nicole now. I make sure that no matter where she is, she has to call me. Because if I find out about something after the fact, then she is grounded or her privileges are taken away. For example, she went to a friend's house after school and I gave her a time to call me. That time passed, so I paged her. When she did call me back, I asked her why she didn't call. She didn't have an acceptable explanation, so I came and got her right away, and she had to come straight home from school the next day. But I made sure that at least I gave her the opportunity to explain, and I didn't just fly off the handle."

Monitoring Your Child’s Activities and Providing a Variety of Positive Activities Are Important Because... Some Kids Use Drugs When They Think They Have Nothing Better To Do

Many youth say they started smoking marijuana or using illegal drugs out of “boredom.” In fact, having significant amounts of unsupervised time is a risk factor for youth substance abuse. Unfortunately, changes over the years in family structures and neighborhood networks have increased the amount of time that many young people spend unsupervised. Even if you aren’t able to be with your child during the after-school hours, you can seek out activities your child can participate in. Involvement in supervised activities not only occupies free time that could otherwise permit involvement in harmful or dangerous activities, but it helps young people develop skills, establish friendships, identify their talents, and develop a strong sense of self-esteem. They learn self-confidence and skills that last a lifetime, and studies show they are much less likely to use drugs or alcohol.

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